


Don't Do It Remus

by wolfstarpatronus



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crazy Sirius, First Kiss, Hogwarts Seventh Year, James Potter - Freeform, Lily Evans - Freeform, M/M, Marauders' Era, Suicide Attempt, remus lupin - Freeform, sirius black - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-26
Updated: 2016-03-26
Packaged: 2018-05-29 00:06:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6350968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfstarpatronus/pseuds/wolfstarpatronus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus is sick of being a werewolf. Sick of feeling left out. Sick of life... </p>
<p>Remus tries to kill himself, Sirius goes a little bit crazy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Do It Remus

"This girl was all over me, it was crazy." Sirius was saying one morning at breakfast.

  
"What'd she do to you?" James asked shoving food into his mouth. 

"She was kissing my neck and mouth and she even tried to touch my dick."

James shook his head and laughed.  
"Hey Remus, have you ever had a girl all over you-"

  
"No, I haven't" Remus said more aggressively than intended.

  
"Wow, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning." James said

  
"It's that time of the month, full moon is tomorrow." Sirius said to James.

"Fuck you!"

Remus grabbed up his bag and stormed out of the Great Hall, leaving his friends. Remus went to the library, the only place he felt alone. He wanted to be alone. He didn't want to listen to Sirius talking about girls...

 

* * *

 

Remus felt sick when he woke up the morning after the full moon. He wasn't in the hospital, surprisingly, he was still in the Shrieking Shack. He looked around. Sirius and James were still here with him. Sirius had a long deep scar on his face. Great. I hurt him, again, Remus thought.

He went over to his friends and woke them up, Remus got a piece of cloth and handed it to Sirius. They went up to the hospital wing to get stitches for Sirius' face.

As Sirius was getting stitches in his face Remus was watching him, looking at the scar he would now probably have for life, and into his eyes. He was sick of hurting people. He was sick of the monster he became every month... He just wanted it to end...

  
"Hey, I'll be right back. I have to go do something." Remus said looking deep into Sirius' eyes.

He didn't hear what James or Sirius said because he had already started walking out of the hospital wing.

He reached the Gryffindor common room, went up the spiraling staircase and locked the door to the boys dorm. He sat down on the floor against the wall and rested his head in his small hands. He started to cry. He didn't know how long he was sitting there for, crying, he heard someone running up the stairs. He didn't move, he just sat there and continued to cry.

  
"Remus, are you in there?" Sirius asked shaking the door handle, "Why is the door locked?"  
"Go away." Remus said wiping his nose.  
"I'm not going anywhere mate, talk to me."

Remus didn't say anything, he stood up, walked over to his bedside table and pulled out a knife. He sat back down in his spot and began to play around with the knife.

  
"Moony? What's wrong?"  
"I'm- I'm a monster."  
"What? No you're not. Don't say that." Sirius paused, "You fold your socks for Christ sakes Remus." Sirius said with a small chuckle, Remus couldn't help but smile too. But that didn't change his mind...

  
"It's just a scratch mate, I've been hurt worse before."  
"Yeah, by me..."  
"Remus stop, can you please just open the door, so we can talk face to face?"

  
"No." Remus started to make a small cut on his wrist, he winced at the pain, but continued to cut.

  
"Remus? What was that noise? What are you doing?"  
"Go. Away!" Remus winced again, this time louder.

  
"Remus! Stop! Open the door now!"  
"I can't do this anymore."  
"Remus stop! Please! Don't do this to yourself!"

Sirius started banging on the door and trying to break it down, (he didn't have his wand on him), "REMUS! REMUS!" Sirius screamed.

  
"Leave. Me. Alone!" Remus screamed back, weakly.  
"Remus, you don't want to do this!"  
"Too late."  
"REMUS JOHN LUPIN, YOU OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW!"

Sirius was screaming and throwing his body against the door trying to get it open.

  
"What the hell are you yelling at?" Lily came running up the stairs looking furious.

  
"Remus is hurting himself. I can't get in!"

Lily pushed Sirius aside, and got her wand out "Alohomora!" The door unlocked and Sirius rushed through the doorway. Remus was half lying, half sitting against the wall, with blood everywhere. Sirius lifted his head up, "Why the hell would you do this?" Remus was pale.

  
"Hey Sirius I heard yelling-" James came in the room and looked down at Sirius, at Remus, at the blood, "What the fuck happened?" Sirius didn't say anything, he picked Remus up and headed for the hospital wing, Lily and James followed.

 

* * *

 

"Why the hell would he do this?" James asked looking at Remus' pale body on the hospital bed.

  
"He thinks he's a monster."  
"Why because he hurt you last night?"  
"Yeah..." No one said anything for the next two hours.

Remus was starting to wake up, James, Lily and Sirius had fallen asleep. "Damn it!" Remus whispered loudly. He was pissed that he was still alive.

He lifted his head up and looked at his friends and then slammed his head back down on the pillow. Remus pulled the covers off himself and got out of the warm bed. He fell to the floor, he felt dizzy.

He stood up and started to walk slowly to the hospital door. He looked back at his friends and then continued to walk out of the hospital wing. he stood outside the hospital wing and sat down against the wall.

2 minutes later Sirius came out, "You shouldn't be out of bed."

  
"Well, I am." Sirius sat down next to Remus.  
"Why'd you do it?" Remus didn't say anything, he just shrugged. "Why can't you talk to me? I'm your friend-"  
"Right. Friend."

"What?"

"Nothing..."

"Tell me.

"Tell you what?"

"What's on your mind?"

"Nothing! Fuck off!" Remus stood up, shakily and started to walk away.

"Remus! Don't you walk away from me!"

"I'm walking away." Remus had a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

"Remus! Stop being such a brat and fucking talk to me!" Remus stopped walking.

"Why can't you just leave me alone?Why didn't you let me die?"

"Because you're my best friend."

"Hm."

"Why are you so mad at me Moony? What happened?"

"Nothing. I'm just mad that you saved my life..."

"Why would you be mad about that? You're not a monster, Remus." Sirius walked closer to Remus. "If you ever try to kill yourself again, I'll kill you."

Sirius turned and started walking away, "Sirius." he turned back around, Remus walked towards him, they looked each other in the eyes. Remus pushed Sirius up against the wall, held his hands up against the wall and kissed him. Sirius kissed him back and Remus let go of his hands and held his face. Something shot up inside Remus, like fireworks. It was like an explosion. It felt amazing. He kept kissing Sirius for a while, they broke away immediately when the door of the hospital wing opened.

"You found him." James said.

He didn't see what they were doing before but Remus and Sirius looked weird. James went back into the hospital wing. Remus turned to Sirius and looked him in the eyes and smiled.

"Don't hurt yourself again, okay? I'll help you get through it, okay?" Remus nodded and rested his forehead against Sirius'.

"Come on," Sirius put his arm around Remus and walked him back into the hospital wing, "Get some more sleep." Sirius helped Remus into the bed and pulled the covers over him and winked at him.

Neither James or Lily saw it, James had fallen back asleep and Lily was still asleep. Sirius quickly kissed Remus on the head and walked over to James and yelled in his ear, "James!"

James sat up fast "What?!"

"Let's go, Remus needs his sleep." James stood up and walked out of the hospital wing without Sirius. Sirius did the same thing to Lily and she got mad but went back to the common room with James and Sirius.

**Author's Note:**

> Remus and Sirius are together now, James and Lily knew about it and they were both happy for them. Remus NEVER hurt himself again, he had Sirius now, he had no reason to hurt himself. He still hated his other half though but James and Sirius were there for him. Life was getting better for Remus.


End file.
